Damien Lim Zheng Yang (23A02)

Damien Lim experienced sudden loss of his elder brother, whom he was close to, close to the A-level period, shattering his world. Despite coping with grief, he forged ahead with perseverance and tenacity to complete his A-level examinations.

Determination to excel despite sudden loss

In the lead up to the A-levels while Damien Lim Zheng Yang, a student from Jurong Pioneer Junior College, was in the midst of his Prelim preparations, the unthinkable happened. “It was late at night when the police called. I didn’t know what happened initially, but my father and mother hurried out of the house,” Damien recalled. The next thing he knew, his mother came home to tell him that his only elder brother had passed on. ‘’My mind went blank, I didn’t know how to react at first,” Damien said. It was only later that same night when reality hit him hard. “I wasn’t sure why, but my mother started cooking dinner for my brother, just like she always does when he is supposed to come home, but as she set out the dinner table for him, she started crying and I broke down seeing her like that,” Damien recounted.

His brother, who was just three years older, had been more than just an older sibling—he was Damien’s mentor, confidant, and pillar of support. From the moment Damien entered junior college, his brother had been there to guide him, easing his transition into a more demanding academic environment. Their bond was unshakable, built on years of shared experiences, late-night conversations, and an unspoken understanding that they would always have each other’s backs. Damien shared fond memories of their time together: “We had a close relationship, and I could always count on him for help in subjects I struggled with. When I had difficulty grasping Math concepts in J1, he patiently explained them to me until I understood. We spent countless hours together, playing Xbox—FIFA, car racing—just enjoying each other’s company. But beyond the fun, he was the person I turned to when things got tough. When I struggled to adapt to the rigour of JC, he listened without judgment and always knew the right words to encourage me.” His brother’s optimism was infectious—he saw the best in people and never hesitated to lend a helping hand. For Damien, losing him was more than just losing a family member; it was losing his biggest source of strength and reassurance. The absence was profound, leaving behind an emptiness that no words could fill. The very person who had once helped him navigate challenges was now gone, and coming to terms with that reality was an immense struggle.

The next week was especially difficult for Damien. While the rest of his peers were in the thick of their Prelim revision, Damien was at his brother’s wake. Preparing for the Preliminary examination and the A-levels were no longer his priority as he focused on supporting his family who was deeply impacted because of the sudden loss, especially his mother who was overcome with grief. Despite his own heartbreak, Damien comforted his family and provided them with strength during the dark moments. The impact of losing the brother became so palpable that Damien struggled to come to terms with it and everyday felt like an uphill battle. He recalled, “I was emotionally at my breaking point, and I could no longer focus on studying. All I could think about was memories of him. I shared the room with him and his bed was empty. I used to talk to him every night when he was there, but he was no longer around…”

Balancing the emotional demands of supporting his family with the rigorous preparation for his preliminary examinations and A-levels soon became an increasingly daunting challenge. Just as he thought about giving up, his classmates and teachers rallied around him. Concerned about Damien, his form teachers and Year Head visited him at his home. “My teachers told me that I can take my time to grieve but they also told me not to give up. One of my teachers even suggested that I try cooking by giving me a recipe for roast chicken. I think it was an odd advice at that point of time but somehow it snapped me out of the sadness I was in, and I could think a little clearer. I did not want to sadden my parents or worry them even more, so I decided to continue trying. I have not tried cooking, but I still have that recipe with me,” Damien recalled. With support from his teachers and classmates, Damien decided to continue with his preparations for the A-levels and sat for the rest of his preliminary examination papers just a few days after the wake. Unsurprisingly, the boy who had been consistently doing well in his studies did poorly.

Despite the setback, Damien did not let it discourage him as he knew he could do better. Damien’s resilience and determination kept him focused. He channelled his grief into a source of motivation, remaining committed to his goals for the sake of his family and his future. He also thought about what his brother would have said to him and used that as motivation to keep him going. His teachers also provided both academic guidance and emotional encouragement, while his classmates often accompanied him during his study sessions to keep him focused. “My teachers were very encouraging. They knew what I had gone through, and they gave me space and time to slowly get back my momentum to revise for the A-levels. Despite doing poorly for prelims, I knew I could do better if I had more revision,” he reflected.

The unwavering support at school played a critical role in helping Damien navigate this difficult period. Together, they created a nurturing environment that enabled him to persevere despite the challenges he faced. Mr Lim Chin Kuan, Damien’s General Paper tutor spoke highly of Damien, “Damien is a down-to-earth boy who gives his best in class. What he went through wasn’t easy for him. We are very proud that he was able to finish his JC journey despite the challenges he had to overcome. What also heartened me was that his friends supported him, rallied behind him, and cheered him up. That probably made it easier for him.”

Damien also found strength through his involvement in sports – his Co-Curricular Activities (CCA), badminton and cycling. The intense training badminton sessions taught him resilience, mental endurance, and the ability to stay composed under pressure. These qualities became invaluable as he coped with the demands of his personal and academic life. The discipline and focus he developed on the court helped him overcome adversity and stay grounded amid chaos. Beyond badminton, Damien turned to night cycling with his friends as a way to clear his mind when he needed it. The rhythmic motion of pedaling and the cool night breeze provided a sense of calm and clarity, allowing him to momentarily escape the stresses of preparing for a major examination and overcoming grief. Cycling not only served as a physical outlet to relieve stress but also gave him the freedom to reflect, reset, and regain focus.

Damien hopes to pursue a degree in either Psychology or Sports Science in university, both of which align with his personal experiences and aspirations. Psychology appeals to him because he wants to better understand the human mind and, more importantly, support those who, like himself, have endured the pain of loss. Through this, he hopes to provide comfort and guidance to others navigating grief, just as he once struggled to do. At the same time, his passion for Sports Science stems from his deep appreciation for the resilience and discipline that sports have instilled in him—qualities that became his anchor during difficult times.

No matter what path he takes in the future, he will carry his brother’s advice with him, a constant reminder to persevere through challenges. His brother’s unwavering optimism continues to inspire him, shaping not only his outlook on life but also his desire to help others find the strength to persevere, no matter the obstacles they face. “I will always remember my brother’s advice—to never give up. The A-Levels might seem overwhelming, but if I stay determined, if I keep pushing forward despite the challenges, I can make it. That’s exactly what I did—I kept going.”